Escaping the Real

Thirty Percent Off at eXtasy!

2009-12-02T21:13:07Z

All back list titles are thirty percent off! The holiday season is here and if you haven't tried one of my books before, now's the time! Give one a shot! Visit eXtasy Books today!

http://www.extasybooks.com

Naughty Little Vamp Blog

2009-11-18T04:14:11Z

I have blogged in the guise of my character Annette Pearce from the Eternal Affairs series. Check it out here!!!

http://www.naughtylittlevamp.blogspot.com/?zx=46564ecc8c128797

Naughty Little Vamp Blog!!

2009-11-05T18:34:57Z

I've made an arrangement to blog in the guise of Anne from the Eternal Affairs series! You can get to the blog by clicking here.

Many people will be taking up this gauntlet and producing a little blogging goodness for their characters. I encourage anyone interested in vampire stuff to give it a gander.

darkcait @ 2009-09-24T09:20:00

2009-09-24T16:20:40Z

I've been so ridiculously busy, I hardly have time to do much more than post an excerpt from a new book or talk about new releases.

My current schedule involves: editing, working, writing and trying to squeeze a few minutes of cleansing downtime so I can do it all again the next day. Let me say it's easy to want to back off of any one thing and what ends up happening is that I have to shove aside things like keeping up my blogs or participating in groups to the extent I would like.

Anyway, the one thing I have continued to make time for is to catch movies. I saw that Whiteout movie and unless you're absolutely -DESPERATE- for something new to watch.... it wasn't really worth it. Next week, I'll probably catch Surrogate. Does anyone else feel like that's the lost Philip K Dick short story? I swear.

I also keep up on reading. School and other successful authors have managed to beat into my head that if you don't have time to read, you don't have time to write. This moment, I'm reading my first Terry Pratchett book: Soul Music. I've also got the Lost Symbol in the queue and JUST finished 'The Winds of Dune' by Brian Herbert and Kevin J Anderson. The latter was not what I expected but then, I'm not sure what I DID expect. Soul Music has been as funny as people have suggested and it's compelling. I didn't know if I'd like it but it's been a very nice change of pace.

I even got to try my hand at playing Champions Online just long enough to be overwhelmed by the character generation. Great game if you've got the extra time. I recommend it based on the fact that I could make a freakish winged cyber monkey in a tuxedo and beat the crap out of stuff in the tutorial.

I also made it to the Puyallup Fair over the weekend. Most of it was nostalgic and cool... the prices were't. Everything was expensive enough that I pulled a 'look don't touch' attitude off nicely. Still, there were some great exhibits and the art from the kids was fantastic. What do they feed those children anyway? Talent in a bottle? I'll take two please.

Well... that's all I've got for now. I wish my work was more exciting or I'd chat about that but alas, it's not.

Passion Play Excerpt

2009-09-14T17:45:01Z

Here's a PG excerpt of Passion Play:

The town was on edge. The entire household was talking about the fact that The Friendly Crusaders were finally returning after a nearly twenty-year tour throughout the world. Katherine Durant had only heard of them in relation to the vacant theater just outside of town. She had never imagined that she would see the people who were responsible for the structure.

She was standing on the balcony in the front of the house, peering out across the lawn toward the trees. The servants were chattering behind her in the room, carrying on about how exciting it would be to have some life back into the town. They were gossipmongers of the highest order and as a result starved for new material.

Privately, Katherine couldn’t have agreed more. Trevinogn was a terribly boring place for younger people. If anything happened at all, Clemente tended to hush it up quickly so that everyone could return to their placid lives. Katherine longed for anything more thrilling than a good harvest or a merchant caravan passing through.

“Miss Durant?” Molly was the eldest of the Durant household servants and had been doting on Katherine since she was a small child. It had annoyed her then and continued to annoy her now. “You should get away from the window. Those actors ain’t the most savory of sorts. They could be spyin’ on ya even now!”

“Please, Molly.” Katherine shook her head. “Why on earth would they be here spying on this house? It’s across the meadow from the theater. Not to mention the fact that I’m certain we would’ve heard that they had made it here by now if they were going to arrive.”

“Nevertheless,” Molly pressed, unwilling to let the situation go, “you’re just askin’ for trouble. Your father would want you cautious.”

My father would want me bored. The thought came unbidden and Katherine didn’t dare to voice it. To give that thought voice would be opening a can of worms the size of a horse. The last thing she needed was her family giving her grief over an overzealous desire for excitement. “Don’t you all have something better to do than chatter in here?” Katherine wasn’t exactly irritable, but she did accompany the comment with a sigh. She had such a strong desire to go see the actors and enjoy their company—she was quite certain that they had an abundance of stories. The whole lifestyle seemed terribly romantic to her.

“Yes, ma’am,” Molly grunted at her fellow servants, and they filed out into the hallway, leaving Katherine’s room empty. Their vacancy was a godsend in a way. It gave Katherine an opportunity to daydream in peace.

Katherine was just barely nineteen years old with black hair that was gloriously long and sharp, noble features. Her pale green eyes were unique and it compelled others to compare her to her mother. People often commented on how uncanny their resemblance was when her mother, when she was young—a pale and thin mirror image of the elder Durant woman. It wasn’t quite as complimentary as people hoped, but Katherine never called anyone on it.

She returned to her room and found a book. Taking a seat in the fading rays of sunlight filtering through the window, she skimmed the paragraphs without so much as reading a single word. Her mind was drifting to a private fantasy of being capable of choosing her own destiny—of being able to join that acting troupe and seeing the entire world.

That dream was not to be. In fact, it was such a silly concept that she angrily flipped a page and forced herself to read, brows furrowed in single-minded discipline. Three sentences down, she could hear people shouting from the town. The area was so quiet she often heard them in their revelry—celebrations she was rarely allowed to attend.

There were at least a few dozen people turning up a storm of cheers. The actors would be parading through at that moment, and she had to miss it all. It didn’t seem entirely fair. In fact, she decided that she could make it fair. Her father’s silly rules couldn’t keep her in the house all the time. She wasn’t a prisoner.

Eternal Affairs 2: Passion Play coming out tomorrow!!

2009-09-14T17:09:56Z

September 15th is the big day for my new book: Eternal Affairs 2: Passion Play. This story takes a step into the past and follows the exploits of Sasha, the Gypsy vampire from Eternal Affairs 1. Still mortal in this book, Sasha belongs to a traveling band of actors who is returning home after many years abroad. He's a philosopher, a lover and an adventurer who seems to be capable of seducing any woman that touches his fancy.

But dark politics are working against the acting troupe and Sasha might be the best way to get at the heart of this band. Intrigue nuzzles romance as the origin of this dark vampire are told.

The Busy... the Busy...

2009-08-17T15:32:31Z

I've been busy as heck pushing out some new material. Eternal Affairs is continuing on and has six books planned now (that would include the original one so five more books). I have all the titles worked out but the newest release is Passion Play. It'll be coming in a month or two (and I'll of course be posting more information). This book will follow Sasha early in his life prior to becoming a vampire.

The other book that I have been working on is called Ancestral Reunion and it's a modern/horror/fantasy/erotic piece. I don't want to give much away but I should say that it was a lot of fun to write and came quickly! The new characters I came up with were a lot of fun.

As far as other news, the northwest is nice this time of year (finally). Heat wave behind us, I've been hanging out and trying to ignore the allergies that plague me (the only reason to be hesitant when I say I like summer).

I need to get back to the grind but I'll update again soon! I've had more to say lately than recently. The curse of being an author is that you DO have a lot to say... you just tend to say it in a book then there's nothing left for other places.

I'll try to change that :)

A Set of Excerpts

2009-03-18T16:21:22Z

Today or Tomorrow I will be posting a number of excerpts from all of my work to date! Please stay tuned either to here or my web site for some new stuff that will hopefully warrant a more detailed look into my tiny but growing library!

Requem of the Silent in the eXfactor Poll!

2009-02-17T18:20:48Z

Hey there,

Requiem of the Silent made it to the new poll on the eXfactor Site. Hop over and vote if you would! Thanks!

This is the Address.

Sale at eXtasy Books! Backlisted books 30% off!

2008-12-05T22:44:26Z

I was informed by the publisher that all the backlisted books from the different authors over at eXtasy are going for 30% off! All of my books are at a discount. If you're looking for some steamy reading this winter, you should definitely head over there and stock up. The books are already a great price and this little tidbit should just sweeten the deal some.

http://www.extasybooks.com is the place and don't forget to check out Redefined and Redemption Obsession while you're there! More about that book in the cut.

These excerpts are pretty darn saucy. Consider them Adult for sure!

Redemption Obsession Synopsis

Everyone knows Vampires don’t exist… But what if everyone is wrong?

Anne Pearce has a normal, comfortable life. She’s a successful artist dating the perfect guy in the northeastern US. No one would suggest she was anything more than a touch eccentric and considerably lucky. Few people actually manage to make their dreams come true the way she seems to have.

But beneath the veneer, Anne has a frightening secret; a past that stretches back over the better part of two centuries and a zealous religious order that has hounded her steps for generations. When a strange woman offers Anne a chance to finish off her provocateurs, she finds herself teetering between the normal life she’s worked so hard to build and the supernatural underworld she has so desperately tried to avoid.

Redemption Obsession Excerpt

Markus thought he would take advantage of his free hands, but he found they were like weights upon his stomach. “I want this path,” Markus breathed. He was torn between loving and hating the exquisite torment that sheered his soul. It all threatened to make him burst with desire. “Take me.”

Anne was crouched between his legs, peering up at him as she pulled his pants down and exposed his hard penis to the cold air. Markus closed his eyes tightly, biting his lip to keep from moaning again. With a smirk, she wondered if he would have the endurance to hold back his vocal pleasure with more direct stimulation.

Markus felt the tickle of her bangs on his abdomen. His heart beat so hard against his chest, he was afraid it would explode. When her lips met the sensitive head of his manhood, the world around him stopped. There was nothing else for him, but that contact and that was only the beginning.

Markus couldn’t watch, but in his mind’s eye, his penis disappeared slowly between Anne’s lips, his silky skin meeting the wet tenderness of her tongue. She was careful while welcoming him fully into her mouth, stimulating him with a suck and slow movement of her head left and right.

When Markus nearly brushed the back of Anne’s throat, she closed her lips solidly about his shaft and began to drag him back out with that same maddening patience that her fingers had teased his chest with.

Markus’s erection throbbed and jerked with this new feeling that had only come to him as dream and imagination before. He moaned loudly, not caring who or what heard or what the repercussions would be. His body wanted release and, despite the driving desire to have it sooner than later, he couldn’t ignore just how wonderful it was to be teased.

Breathing became difficult and every gasp was twice as ragged as when she first kissed his neck. Now Markus felt his body plummet on a one-way trip toward out of control. She pulled out and was suddenly straddling him, her cheek pressed to his. One of her hands took his member and guided it into the wet and waiting folds of her sex.

Anne was warmer than Markus would have imagined from the chill of her fingers and he would’ve cried out had he been able to find the air. Her lips brushed his ear as she began to grind against him, her lips moving with a practiced ease her own experience should not have been capable of. For the briefest of moments, it surprised her before lust replaced any thoughts at all.

“You have to release for me, Markus,” Anne’s words were unnecessary. He couldn’t hold back even if he had known how to try. His hands gripped her waist suddenly and he pushed into her, meeting her motions with clumsy thrusts of his own. He was grunting, a sound that was entirely reflexive.

“I…” it was all that came out as he teetered on the edge of his climax. His loins were stiff and tense. He thought the sensation would consume him and his head began to swim. Arms and legs quivered. The orgasm to come would leave him spent beyond belief.

Redefined Synopsis

Naivety kept Natasha’s untamed passion hidden beneath the surface of an antisocial art student. Long term relationships of any sort were out of the question until she met Sophia, a sophisticated upper class woman who sweeps Nat off her feet. Things begin to heat up when the initial reason for Sophia’s attentions are brought to light and Natasha must make several terrible decisions that all promise to leave her rather changed when the results are revealed.

Redefined Excerpt

Sophia was pressing down on me, our bodies fused together from the heat of our passionate embrace. We were kissing so hard it hurt, our tongues indulging one another as all the pent up tension of the evening found release in the privacy of a darkened bedroom.

Our clothes were sprawled on the floor; cast off in a trail as we kissed our way down the hall. I was flush with the heady euphoria of her taste and the way her skin felt against mine—warm and slick with the first hint of sweat. Her fingers were all over, entwined in my hair then glancing down my back like butterfly kisses. A moment later she teased my sex then paced back up to find a nipple.

The backs of my knees found the edge of her bed and she pushed me back. We collapsed together in slow motion, coming down hard on the mattress. My heart was pounding from the few gasps I was able to steal between our kissing and our body heat mingled until I felt like I was scorching beneath her.

“I want to taste you.” Sophia’s whispered breath brushed my cheek and I nodded with a smile.

She pushed away and turned—for a moment, we were apart and it was cold… then she straddled my head and pressed back down on me. I felt her hands urging my legs apart and I could look up at the tender folds of her sex and smell the sweetness as a repeat from when I went down on her at the restaurant.

Then the soft of her tongue began to lick my clit and I let out a loud moan. It was cold to hot and the sensation nearly drove me wild. I put my hands on her thighs and pulled my mouth up to return the favor, burying my tongue deep inside her. She hummed against me, and together our attention matched one another, trying to keep pace despite the off beat convulsions that danced through us.

I became frantic as every nerve in my body began to light up in sudden rapture. I could tell she was feeling much the same as her body began to tremble. Her hips moved almost imperceptibly. Her taste became stronger as she started to climax—it was a slow build that culminated with a brief cry. Then she began to lick me twice as fast as her moistness covered my lips.

It happened to me almost without my realizing it. I gasped and my head dropped back as a piercing orgasm spread like wildfire from my center. Coaxing me further, Sophia plunged two fingers into me and massaged about, which caused an especially loud cry that didn’t even sound like me to tear from my throat.

With her tongue moving to gentle caresses of my clit and eventually stopping, she eased me out of the orgasm and back to a state of convulsive breathing. Pushing up, she positioned herself beside me, one of her legs draped languidly over mine. She brushed fingers through my hair, pushing the bangs away from my sweat covered brow.

“How do you feel?” Sophia whispered before pressing her lips to my cheek, remaining close.

“Wonderful.” It was an understatement but the best I could manage. I was in heaven… the whole night was paradise despite all the unease. I turned to face her and we kissed again—not the hard passion of before but far more loving… tender. When I closed my eyes I felt happier than I had ever been in my entire life. Finally, I felt like I belonged.

Redemption Obsession Excerpt

2008-11-24T23:47:05Z

I thought that I'd share an excerpt over here today. Remember, if you like this excerpt you should hop over to my web site (www.caitlinwest.com) and comment on one of the excerpts there. Black Friday is fast approaching and there aren't many entries for the prizes!

Without further comment however, here's the excerpt!

The world was obscured by a surreal haze. Clouds rolled by faster than they ever would in real life. Every color was more vibrant, brilliant cobalt sky over a lime green lawn with flower of royal purple and white flecks. Bird song echoed over the walls of a tiny cottage nestled in a valley of natural splendor. All this was peripheral to Anne from the vantage of the bedroom on the ground floor.

Sasha was the lover hovering over her. She was on her hands and knees, facing that window. He took her from behind, one hand on her hip with the other twined in her hair. Over and over again, he plunged deep into her, the passion of the moment making her sweat. All she could manage was a series of moans, her body quivering with every thrilling pulse.

“This is what you wanted.” Sasha’s voice was distant as though she were hearing it in her mind. “This is how it was supposed to be.”

Anne shook free of his hand and glanced over her shoulder, looking up at the muscular chest and dark skin leading to his near angelic face. His black hair was obscuring some of his features, his eyes closed tightly as he continued the perfect rhythm to accompany their intimacy. The pleasure was all encompassing, but something seemed to be missing, something on the edge of her awareness begging to be noticed yet hiding.

“How…how what was supposed to be?” Anne asked the question in a gasp. Her voice wasn’t her own, it was full of pain. It made no sense to her. “What are you talking about, Sasha? Where have you been? It’s been so long…”

“You know,” Sasha answered, pulling out of her and urged her to turn. They met with a kiss, their tongues meeting.

Anne gripped his sex, squeezing tightly while nipping his lip.

“You missed me then?”

“Of course I missed you,” Anne whispered. “If I had known what I was doing when I separated from you, I never would’ve done it. Why are you just now coming back to me?”

“This isn’t real,” Sasha leaned to nibble her ear, moving down to her neck. It was the same place that he had bitten her, the way that he had brought her over. “You’re dreaming. You’re delirious. You know that. You’re just not ready to face it.”

“It hurts,” Anne’s voice trembled. “Everything hurts. Make the hurting stop.”

“I wish I could,” Sasha replied, trying to comfort her. “You have to face it. You don’t have a choice.”

Sasha’s fangs tickled her skin just a moment before they plunged deep into her. Anne’s eyes closed, her mouth opened in a silent scream. It was purely the most sexual experience of her life. Memories flooded into her mind from that fateful night. The blood began to trickle down her back, a chill encompassing her spine. It was all too much to take.

* * * *

Anne’s eyelids snapped open. The dream world vanished in an instant. Blackness surrounded her along with the sound of cars in the distance. Blood soaked her back making the cement floor slick. She couldn’t move, only lie there and shiver. As her mouth began to dry, she realized she was starting to pass out again.

Something sharp was sticking out of her side. The object was thicker than a knife—oblong and metal. The texture was smooth as if it were recently polished. It had to have been fired at a high velocity by at least a shotgun. Each little detail came into her mind as still images like flash cards depicting her evening.

“Dear Lord!” The man’s voice echoed off a tall ceiling.

Anne tried to guess where she had stumbled into. It was her vision that was dark, not the room. Shadows wouldn’t obscure details for a vampire.

“What…what’s happened to you, child? I…I need to call a doctor.”

“No!” Anne gasped the word, writhing about on the floor in her attempt to move. “Please…no doctors! I’ll be fine.”

“You’re…” He knelt beside her, cool fingers brushing against her cheek and neck. “What happened? The blood…there’s so much blood!”

“I don’t know…” Anne swallowed hard and blinked several times. Her vision began to return, albeit blurrily. “It was just…I was in a place…I was…attacked. Please…I’m not normal…I’m not…”

“You’re…” the man’s voice broke. “Dear God…your teeth.”

The Black Friday Drawing!

2008-11-19T21:20:04Z

I have decided to have a little drawing over at my web site. Entry will be pretty darn simple. Jump over and check out any of my excerpts on the site and leave a comment. On Black Friday, three lucky readers will win a prize!

I will be giving away two Amazon.com gift cards (valued at 15 dollars each ) and free book downloads. Come on over and take a peek at the excerpts, leave a comment and visit eXtasy Books for a lot of great novels at low prices!

I look forward to hearing from you!

-C

http://www.caitlinwest.com
http://www.extasybooks.com

The Sweetest Poison Available Now!!!!!

2008-11-03T20:22:44Z

The Sweetest Poison has been released through www.extasybooks.com! This is a noir crime novella about a detective and his descent into a supernatural world of blackmail and murder. With souls at stake and ties to the past drudged up, things get mysterious and saucy. Take a peek at the site and here's a little excerpt!

“This is as far from innocent as love is from hate.” Angelique pressed closer to me and her lips barely brushed against mine with every sharp syllable. “This is the point that you find out just what a soul is worth and what lengths some of us will go through to get them.”

The kiss was electric. Her lips pressed hard against mine and her tongue forced my mouth open, starving to explore. Every nerve ending in my body betrayed the voice in my head that was shouting to stop her. I put my hands on her shoulders, but instead of pushing away, I held her tightly.

I joined her in the savage kiss, grunting as her hand began to stroke me hard through my pants. My loins were on fire, my heart beating flaming signals throughout my limbs that all cried out to take her on the floor. There was no love to be made—just an animal hunger for sex, a desire to taste every inch of her skin to a wild glorious climax.

Angelique got rougher.

Finally, a new web site

2008-10-28T23:26:35Z

I put together a new web site and uploaded it over at www.caitlinwest.com. If you have some time, check it out and if you would like to do a link exchange, let me know and I'll add your site!

Romance Junkies Chat!

2008-10-17T16:47:46Z

Last night's chat was amazingly fun. The basic format of these chats is pretty simple. Everyone logs in on or around the designated time that it starts (in this case, 9:00 PM EST). I got there 10 minutes early and settled in for the hour. People start rolling in and carrying on, getting settled. It's a casual environment and that kills all the pressure. Everyone is friendly and they joke around until the moderator kicks in the actual author chatter.

Each author then discusses what their latest release was about and answers some questions about it. Some of the questions were silly, most were poignant and all of them were entertaining. I went last in the rotation and described Requiem of the Silent. People posed questions about the Mau and my research and how I go about the writing process. I made mention that the Redemption Obsession storyline would be going on and that I've got up to book 5 planned out.

The best part for me was the fact that people had actually read Redemption Obsession and loved it! The compliments were flattering and awesome. I didn't expect that sort of praise to come out during the chat and was glowing by the end. Heck, I was expecting to answer questions of 'What's that?' when I brought it up so to have people know about it and have read it was special to me.

The bottom line is that it was a lot of fun and I'd do it again in a heart beat. I'll be attending the next chat on Oct 30th, just the day before my next release is out. I'm not on the author list but it was too much fun to miss out. Plus we had an extra chat scheduled this month. Autumn really has been a busy time this year. I look forward to seeing what happens next!

Chat tonight at Romance Junkies!

2008-10-16T17:14:25Z

Tonight, I'll be in a chat over at Romance Junkies! This is a chance to discuss my previous release (Redemption Obsession), my newest release (Requiem of the Silent) and my soon to be released novella 'The Sweetest Poison'!

Join us here: http://www.romancejunkies.com/chat.html . When you enter the chat room after signing in, you'll be in the lobby. Click on the yellow and green icon at the upper right of the screen then click on RJ Chat to find us!

Requiem of the Silent

2008-10-15T16:31:55Z

Hello!

Requiem of the Silent is now on sale! This is basically a short story selling over at eXtasy Books and goes for $1.59. This is a great gateway into the world of Anne Pearce (heroin of the Redemption Obsession novel also available at eXtasy Books). Please go check it out here. It's also on the front page of the site for this week!

This is an exciting month because on the 31st, The Sweetest Poison will also be released! I've also started work on Eternal Affairs 2, 3 and 4 all being written at the same time (mostly because of how the chapter structure works, I wanted to maintain continuity).

Things are working out nicely! Now on to the sales!!

Another review and Requiem of the Silent

2008-09-30T16:34:44Z

I know that I've been lazy about my live journal lately but mostly because I've been busy writing. I've got a lot going on with the publication side of my life but today, it was interrupted with great news.

Bitten by Books reviewed Redemption Obsession and gave it 4.5 gravestones. That was some excellent news unto itself and you can read their review here!!!

Requiem of the Silent is a fantasy teaser that will be published via eXtasy Books this October. I just finished going through the edits I was sent last night so it's really close! The cover is located in the 'cut' below. Overall, things are going great over here! It's all very exciting.

Author Spotlight: Raine Delight Blog

2008-09-04T16:35:51Z

I did an interview on an Author Spotlight over at this site. Check it out!

And Another Redemption Obsession Review!!!

2008-08-04T18:15:28Z

I just found this review online:

http://tjbook-list.blogspot.com/search/label/Authors%3A%20W

The actual review is also here below the cut but go check it out on the site above!

Reviewer: WitchGiggles

When you've lived as long as Anne Pearce, normalcy is something to be treasured. Only for her, "normal" might be just a wee bit different than for most folks. After all, being almost two hundred years old as well as an artist isn't exactly the every day standard for normal in anybody's world.

Wanting nothing more than to live with the man she's come to love and plans to marry, tired of eluding the fanatical order who has tried to destroy her on several occasions, she is nonetheless surprised to be approached with an opportunity to get rid of these people once and for all. Is it a set up? Not as far as she can tell and it will certainly make her life easier, but everything comes with a price. She just has to decide what that is and if she's willing to pay it.

I rarely enjoy a chronological style of writing, but in this instance it gave not only clarity, but added immensely to the character's growth and maturity. It was the "difference" in this person that kept the interest as one wanted to find out why and how it affected the way things progressed. I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

New Review: Eternal Affairs on Coffee Time Romance

2008-07-29T15:58:47Z

I received a new review today for my book. It was quite favorable!

Visit Coffee Time Romance to check it out.

Here's a quote: "This is one of the most fascinating vampire tales on the market."

Yay for good reviews! :)

Review for Redemption Obsession

2008-06-13T20:00:37Z

I have received a review for Redemption Obsession today from Paranormal Romance. Check it out over here

Prince Caspian

2008-05-16T10:05:53Z

I would really like to rant and rave about that movie and talk about the fine points. I'll just say some non-spoiler things though.

I took Friday off so that I could see Narnia at midnight on Thursday. I watched it with a huge crowd of noisy teenagers that I thought were going to cause havoc throughout the movie. Instead, they were respectful, laughing at some parts, cheering at others but totally engaged. I can just say that everyone should see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian because it was awesome.

When more people have had the chance to get to it, I'll write a lot more. Until then, I don't think anyone will be disappointed.

So... Speed Racer...

2008-05-13T06:02:53Z

Yeah, I went out and watched it in the IMAX tonight. I was kind of stunned it didn't do a lot better. I went in with super low expectations so I took some enjoyment out of it.

It was trying very hard to cater to the type of people who enjoyed Fast and the Furious and movies like Sky Captain or even 300 (animation style more than violence obviously). It was very ADD and the two hours, fifteen minutes just flew by for me. I expected to hate it but I can't say that there's anything more wrong with this than movies that do quite a bit better. There was some slapstick stuff and there was some serious cheese but it was based on a classic cartoon that took cheese and elevated it to a cult status.

Maybe part of the problem was the 'look' of the movie being too cartoon. Maybe it should've come out in June rather than right after Iron Man. There was a lot of arrogance in the placement of this movie. They seemed to think that they were going to just dominate the crowds but look at the directors: they are not famous due to their child friendly pictures. The three Matrix movies and V for Vendetta were dark, gritty films that Speed Racer just was not. Robert Rodriguez can swap back and forth (Spy Kids to Sin City) but these days I think it's a lot harder for directors to bridge the gap of genres like that.

This might very well be the case.

Another point to think about is that Speed Racer was a cartoon that my Dad remembers as a kid. It originally came out in 1967 and anyone that was a 'devoted fan' has long since outgrown childish antics in a movie. I think that our friends the Wachowski Brothers could have made this at least a PG 13 film and targeted the original fan base (the people that they should've been aiming for all along). The 'family friendly' edition doesn't really hold up because the little kids wouldn't get the in jokes, the older crowd wouldn't care about the slapstick kid stuff and that leaves the cool CG cars to pull the whole movie but financially, that's proven to not work (again, look at Sky Captain with its paltry 15 mil on the opening weekend and a world wide flop at 49 million; not quite enough to make back the 70 million budget).

A lot of people look back on Speed Racer and whether they can name any specific episodes or plots, they can universally say one thing: lots of freeze frame with some seriously melodramatic dialogue. That doesn't really make for a strong draw for people to give a movie a chance when in this day and age, film adaptations of old 60s shows are even MORE over the top than their source material.

All in all, this seems like a one in a million chance that was destined to fail. Joel Silver tossed his name on it as if he alone could draw a crowd to a film by sheer will alone and in the end, we find that it takes more than names and flash to get people in the theater seats. We still require our entertainment to be compelling even if it's on the thinnest level of inspiration.

Redemption Obsession Available Now!!!

2008-05-01T18:22:21Z

Today, Redemption Obsession was released over at Extasy Books! This is an eBook of 332 pages available for 5.99.

Please take a moment to go check it out! It's totally worth it. There are excerpts on the site of full chapters but I'm going to include an excerpt here right now.

Chapter One

A Cultivated Garden

June 8th, 1861

There was a garden on the west side of the house hiding beneath the eaves from the most dramatic weather. It wasn’t an elaborate affair really, just large enough for one person to manage with a little sweat. Over the years the plot had known many crops from daisies to carrots to strawberries and each was a labor of love not necessity.

A patch nearest the house had always been plagued by weeds. As fast as they could be removed, they often fought their way back within a few days, peeking through the lush soil like a child guiltily peering down the stairs Christmas morning. Though that small section had been quarantined for years, it now bled its brown scraggly foliage into the green of rose stems and parsley.

Anne noted all of this from the window of her bedroom that overlooked her pride and joy. She was ten years old when her father helped her clear out the area for her first planting. Seventeen years later, life wasn’t nearly as lustrous as it was then. Too many things had happened—too many things hadn’t happened. The dichotomy was painful to bear and she made her decision on how to end it.

She glanced across the yard at the setting sun, frowning back a bitter sensation that boiled in her chest. The emotion threatened to overwhelm her to tears, but she swore she wouldn’t cry again, not when she was so close to her solution. Her weakness was already going to be on display for the world. There was no reason to compound it with further humiliation.

Turning back to her vanity, she sat down and peered into the mirror. She was dressed for the occasion in the same black gown she had worn when her mother was buried. It hung low on the shoulders sweeping in a subtle arch revealing a field of pale skin. The corset gave her breasts some lift, which in turn revealed a liberal amount of cleavage. At the waist, the skirt flared out and fell to her ankles.

A black silk choker wrapped about her slender neck and it was bound in the center by a perfectly oval onyx. Matching earrings dripped from her ears—two black dots on white gold threads. During the funeral, she wore a shawl and a veil to add some modesty to the otherwise risqué dress.

Anne glanced down at her recently manicured hands—hands that were accustomed to working outside looked alien to her in their pristine condition. Turning her arm to point her palm toward the ceiling, her eyes examined the trace of vein that meandered along a patch of white toward her fingers.

Anne reached with her free hand and lifted the implement of her release—a long blade she spirited away from her father’s study. The knife had been in her family for generations and it had tasted blood on many occasions. Death was a frequent visitor in her household and it had fed well on friend and enemy alike.

The world had changed considerably. Modernizing was a catchword that was supposed to mean the same thing as safe. The truth was that even with elaborate clothes and gorgeous carriages, larger homes and defined table manners, universities and monarchies giving way to citizen governments, none of them mattered. They were nothing more than elaborate facades hiding the true nature of humanity. Why did people try so desperately to obscure the chaos that ruled their hearts? None of it made any sense to her.

“Not as bad as all that.”

The silky masculine voice floated on the air near her ears and yet it was so quiet she could’ve sworn it was confined to her thoughts.

“Is the world truly so bleak that you would plan such an end?”

Anne’s heart beat faster and though a part of her wanted to turn around, a rational side told her there’s nothing in the mirror. You’re imagining things. Or was she? Could this be a voice from heaven? Was it a final warning against a mortal sin? Or was it just her conscience begging her to stay her hand? All this played out in her mind, demanding her attention, distracting her from her cause.

“You have a flare for the dramatic,” the voice continued on, louder now.

There was definitely someone in the room.

“Dressed in your funeral finery, you look vastly more striking than those strumpets that scorned your company years ago. And they did it for what? Religious convictions?” The man tsked. “So much for the concept of togetherness and acceptance, hmm?”

Anne couldn’t swallow past her dry throat. There were words in her mind, but she couldn’t find the strength to give them voice. She remained perfectly still.

“I’m looking down on your little garden,” the voice spoke. “Do you feel that it’s beyond its prime? That it’s hopeless? It’s only lost what you’ve been unwilling to give back you know.”

“I…” Anne tried to complete a sentence but merely raised her hands to her chest, clasping them tightly together. The knife was temporarily forgotten.

“Yes, I know your mind. There’s nothing left to live for. No point. The deaths you’ve had to endure, your mother, your sister and your cousin, all weigh heavily on your soul. Now you and your father are alone. You feel fragile, exposed, aged beyond your years. All of this creeps in like the cancerous weeds that dominate your garden. Like the struggling daisy, you feel overwhelmed. Am I wrong?”

“No,” Anne whispered, shaking her head so that locks of hair danced before her eyes. “I just…I can’t…”

“You can’t? You won’t. There’s a big difference. But you’re right. This existence, this life has no purpose for you.”

Anne heard movement for the first time, a footfall near the window.

“That guilt you’ve been dealing with, the emotion that stayed your hand for the briefest moment lies outside this window. Who would tend the garden? Who would tend your father? How could you forsake seeing another sunrise? You think you’re abandoning it all, but really, that happened already. I don’t think you could sever ties any faster without intentionally destroying them.”

“What do you want?” A tear was sliding down Anne’s cheek now and her eyes became a vibrant shade of dark blue. The effect made her look so alive in the mirror as if mocking her intention.

“You.”

His tone was so direct that her heart caught in her throat. Finally, she turned to look at him and her eyes widened at the sight.

The man that stood before her was blessed with an unearthly youth. Perfect skin was pale though retained a hint the darker tone of a gypsy. Black hair tumbled down his back, tied into a tail revealing a widow’s peak. He cut a lithe figure, a feature mirrored by high cheek bones and a somewhat gaunt appearance.

The outfit was that of a gentleman—a black coat and white shirt beneath with an elaborately tied cravat. It seemed out of place on him as if he were used to something far less expensive. The boots were tall and well polished, covering the bottoms of his pants.

Despite her evaluation of his appearance, she didn’t dare meet his eyes. That would be acknowledging that he really was there. It was an absurd feeling and it left her frustrated and embarrassed. She wanted to feel outraged and wondered how he got in. Was he some dread spirit? Was that why he wasn’t casting a reflection?

Fear gripped at her as she was reminded of this fact. She had never been much of a superstitious person but this was right out of a fairy tale that her grandmother might have told when she was a child. For a brief moment, the despair that had driven her toward suicide was forsaken for this new puzzle.

“Why?” Anne finally thought to ask. She couldn’t fathom why he would invade her room. However fleeting, however peripherally, the mere thought of being wanted, even by this bizarre person, brought a shimmer of hope to her heart.

“Because you’ve been unwanted for so long,” he spoke as if he were answering her thoughts as opposed to the question. “Your father doesn’t even look at you anymore. He sees your mother in your face, in those sharp features and that smooth skin. He sees your sister in those glittering eyes and hears their laughter in your voice. You remind him of death so he treats you as if you embody doom. Since the death of your last relative, you’ve been dead to him as well. You might as well have drowned in that boating accident you escaped from. Maybe that was even expected.”

“How can you speak so lightly about all that’s happened?” Anne asked in a trembling voice. “How can you be so irreverent?”

“Why not?” He was leaning against the window frame as he spoke. “That sort of thing happens all the time. Granted, it happened to you in greater frequency and in a smaller time frame, but others suffer day in and day out. Your pain was over quickly. You’re the reason it lingers. Imagine a debilitating disease without the funds for a possible cure or the withering of flesh as age trims away the edges of what once was a great person. Compared alongside what you’ve gone through, it makes your complaints to be somewhat petty.”

His reprimand pushed her over the edge. The knife was knocked to the floor and she buried her face in her hands, crying with all the desperation that had driven her to want death. How could he be so cold? Was he there merely to mock her pain? Was this God’s preface to hell? Eternal torment could never be as horrifying as her life had been. Nothing could, nothing would.

“It’s not just the others, is it?” the voice asked in a knowing sort of way as if intending to draw attention rather than look for the answer.

Anne looked up with her brows furrowed. Through the blurry vision her tears created, her calm tormentor was a white blur against the backdrop of waning twilight. His arms were at his side, but the gaps between them and his body were filled in by their obscured outlines. It occurred to her that he looked something like an angel. Perhaps he was a messenger from God, someone to give her the final chance to return to the fold before she destroyed her soul forever. “I don’t know what you mean,” Anne said firmly. “I don’t.”

“Of course you know what I mean. You haven’t found love in this life. You don’t believe in it anymore. Such a frivolous waste of time, isn’t it?” He shook his head. “Love’s just a measure of man’s vanity to convince a woman to go to bed with him and a woman’s tool to not have to live with her parents for the rest of her days, to avoid the grim title of spinster. Love’s not a state of being or an attainable virtue. It’s a weapon of statecraft and the eternal struggle between the sexes.”

“That’s so cynical,” Anne swallowed hard.

“And yet I was about to say that bitterness doesn’t become you.” He chuckled. “Perhaps we both have a lesson to learn.”

“Yes, how would you know?” Anne cried. “How do you know anything? All your long-winded speeches don’t amount to much when there’s so much pain and misery. How does anyone survive it? How?”

“I have lived it, my dear.” He stepped across the room, extending his hand to touch her cheek, but stopping short. Fingers balled into a fist as he drew back. “Because I know how the world works and how the independent organisms move through it. I know what drives humanity and what creates the angst that you’re toiling through right now. All of these things I’ve had to learn and they’ve all had a cost. Sometimes the payments were more than I thought I could bear, but as you can see, here I stand and as I said before…it’s not as bad as all that.”

“You have a lot of lofty words and fancy philosophy,” Anne scowled. “But you haven’t told me why you’re here. What are you? Are you an angel? A demon? Am I hallucinating? What do you want?”

“Reasonable questions.” He turned to look out the window. “The very act of asking them says something about your perception. It would be nice to think of myself as something divine, but then I’d be walking down your path, fooling myself about the world and my role in it. I would be complaining or feel compelled to kill myself because I was not true to my beliefs. You are in denial of all things—your place, your suffering, my existence. Laboring on to cite you more examples wastes time that could be better spent elsewhere.”

“I just don’t understand,” Anne said with a painful desperation in her voice. “Why can’t I just die in peace? Why does even my end have to be full of torment? I know that I couldn’t find anyone…no one would look at me. Not after all that’s happened to my family. Not after they thought—” The words caught in her throat and she clenched her fists in frustration.

“Since they thought you might’ve helped your cousin to die?” He finished for her. “Of course not. Would any father allow his son into the arms of a potential murderess? Even one as stunning as you? Perhaps not at present, but what about the future?”

“What future?” Anne shot back at him. “Who are you?”

“My name is Sasha,” He inclined his head slightly. “And I’ve come to offer you a future apart from all this…death.”

“What do you mean?” The danger in his tone sent a chill through her veins like icy fish disturbing a warm river. He was so confident, so knowing and so utterly without regret. Death itself wasn’t as frightening as this man and his strong will. Whatever he wanted or had to offer could not be good. Was this the will of a benevolent deity or was he from some power in the underworld?

What if it was just paranoia? Ingrained spiritual nonsense from the church? Maybe everyone was wrong. He seemed to have the answers. Even without looking into his eyes, she could feel that he had a plan. Whatever it was, it surged from him like waves of heat from a stallion after a hard gallop.

“I want to save you the fate of the garden, Anne,” Sasha replied to her question. “I want to bring you peace and let you see the world through a new set of eyes. Opened and aware, you’ll finally have the faculties to appreciate your experiences rather than react to them.”

Anne stood from her chair and walked up beside Sasha, staring out the window at her garden. It had been a long time since she saw it through a filter of love. It had been therapy against all the monstrosities she’d experienced and the neglect she felt from those around her. Life had proven to be universally unfair for it could be taken away with mind numbing rapidity. That same act of swift resolution could continue to torment for years.

The weeds were completely out of control, far worse than she had noticed before. The other plants were suffering though the signs were subtle. She had worked too long in that little patch to lose the capability of seeing even the slightest sign of impending disaster. If she was gone, would anyone tend that garden? Or would it wither away to another bitter memory?

It would rot and overgrow, becoming a grass mound of bugs and death. Burrowed in the filth, unwanted creatures would launch forays into the house until nothing would be done for it other than to dig it up and start over. All if she just surrendered her life, it would all be over. Though she knew that such earthly concerns would falter, the bit of life that clung to her cried out against the injustice.

“What can you do?” Anne was hoping to put some strength behind the question, but it came out meek and submissive as if she was hoping that he would take charge. She prayed that he would lead her on what she was unwilling or incapable of seeking alone.

Anne felt cold fingers touch the edge of her chin, gently turning her head from the window. She looked up into rich, brown eyes gazing down at her with the most resolute kindness she had ever seen in her entire life. She could spend a lifetime staring into his soul, exploring the depth of overwhelming thought and creativity. His gaze made her feel small, insignificant to the power that came from total mastery of the self, a mastery she could only imagine submitting to, never possessing.

“You don’t have to be outside anymore.”

Sasha’s words were strangely effecting—a double meaning spoke to her soul. How long had she felt like an outsider? How long had she wished she could be a part of something? Or was it anything like that at all? Was it really about being a part? Or was it about surety? What was sure in life? Nothing. All the precautions in the world, hiding under the bed or locking the door, dressing warm against the cold or taking covering up against the burning sun, none of them mattered if it was time to go.

Nature was uncaring. The world continued on whether the fragility of life and love endured, whether or not the petty squabbling and concerns of mortality ended in peace or disaster. It helped bring her terror into sharp focus.

“Do I…can you…” The questions formed on her lips, but ended with her thoughts. She closed her eyes, tilting her head slightly in a silent form of acceptance. For the first time, she felt giving into fate was the right choice and that she was in good hands.

Time passed by. A minute seemed like a year when finally she felt Sasha’s fingers dance like feathers up her arms to her neck. The sensation brought goose bumps to her skin, making her body shiver with a mixture of delight and surprise. She’d never felt the touch of a man before, but she’d thought about the subject a thousand times. Intimacy was the thing she craved most in life and it’s the one thing that she was denied time and time again.

Sasha’s hands moved around her back, unhooking the choker and dropping it to the floor. It seemed to take a little too much time to fall, the clack of the onyx on the hardwood a few moments later than Anne would’ve thought. His fingers continued to move, sliding up her head and plunging into her black curls. A moment later, he removed the sticks binding her hair and it toppled passed her shoulders.

Anne’s body was all shivers. She had never been so aroused in her life. Every ounce of her being was longing for more of his touch, but his fingers merely teased their way back down to her shoulders. There they paused for just a moment, then quested onward down the front of her gown. There was a lace there that kept the bodice closed and, though the gown wouldn’t come off with her corset on, her breasts could easily be revealed by a few well-placed tugs.

The knot was undone first and her nipples were greeted with a light breeze, a sensation that brought them immediately to full attention. Anne expected more teasing, she expected anything but what happened. All at once, she felt the hot of Sasha’s mouth close over her breast, his tongue moving around the nipple softly as he sucked. Though it was a sudden movement, his action wasn’t rough. Quite the contrary, it was just the right amount of attention to make her body shake and her loins stiffen with desire.

When she thought that she wouldn’t be able to take much more, he brought a hand up and pinched the other nipple, causing her to jump. Finally, the passion was too much to bear and she lost her grip on the concept of impropriety. She lifted her arms and cradled his head, holding him in place as he continued to suck and lick.

As soon as Anne felt stable, she realized that she wouldn’t have had much of a choice with her knees beginning to shake from his tender ministrations. There were so many things that she wanted, but didn’t know how to ask for, motions she could envision in her heart, but could never describe with words, places she wanted to be touched that were too taboo to mention.

Anne barely realized that Sasha had stopped tending to her nipples when suddenly, her corset was torn. The tatters fell to the floor as he violently cleared the path between him and her hot aroused flesh. She let go of his head and nearly stumbled back, but he caught her about the waist and lifted her up. He settled her on the bed and held her with one arm while removing the rest of her ruined garment.

She shivered from cold and fear, unsure of what was happening next, but certain that she no longer had any control over it—if she ever did to begin with. There was no stopping now. She had to trust Sasha implicitly for good or ill and, despite her mental trepidation, her body was already accepting the inevitable.

Anne was moist and hot between her legs, a sensation she had felt before but never so intensely. Her eyes were still closed, but she heard another rip of clothes, fabric settling on the floor. Sasha was hovering over her, she could feel his presence and shortly, his lips, kissing her bare stomach, ever moving slowly down.

Some locks of Sasha’s hair had escaped their bonds, the ends tickling Anne’s skin with every ragged breath that she took. Seemingly by instinct, she separated her legs as he kissed her abdomen, his mouth nearly hovering over her sex. She held her breath and clasped at the bed covers in anticipation.

Sasha hesitated, breathing softly on the fold of skin he was about to taste. Certain she could not handle the suspense any longer, she gasped as he brushed the tip of his tongue gently against her, taking a long leisurely lick that tore a moan from her throat. He paused, letting her writhe in frustration before returning for another pass.

Anne’s moans became incessant. She reached down and took hold of his head in a wanton moment of desperation, pulling him against her. His tongue had perfect rhythm, working with her body’s motions and keeping up with each convulsive display of pleasure, dragging out every second of sensation. He seemed to govern the mounting pressure in her loins, dragging it higher and higher…

All at once, Anne’s eyes opened wide and her mouth was open with a silent scream. She spread her legs further apart, bucking her hips to give him better access. Waves of orgasm flashed over her like chills during a fever, lightening her head and burning her senses into one cohesive entity of delight.

Anne felt tears leak out of her eyes. She shivered and moaned through a series of experiences she never would have imagined possible. Never in her wildest fantasies had she felt something so beautiful.

When Sasha stopped and mounted the bed, Anne realized that he was completely naked. She could not have asked for more. His body was as handsome as his face—lithe, muscular… His penis was erect and, as it came to rest against the wet folds between her legs, she realized just how demanding the hunger in his eyes really was.

But he held out. Every ounce of her soul ached for him to release inside her, to take her body and pleasure himself as he had pleasured her. His patience was absolutely maddening.

Their lips met and she could taste herself on him, a fact that made her kiss him all the more hungrily. Tongues wrestled a moment, circling as their emotions intensified. She ran her nails down his sides, which made him arch his back—the final bit of pressure needed to slide into her.

Anne was far from prepared for how it felt and though it might have been premature, Sasha took advantage of gaining entrance. He began slowly, still kissing her despite her shivering gasps between their kisses. His long member moved in and out in ever more rapid strokes, the contours meeting hers perfectly and, as her hips started to move in time with him, she could finally feel his body tremble with his own delight.

She had no idea how long they made love, but with all the suddenness of his arrival, Sasha’s eyes opened wide as he took her roughly by her hair. With a quick motion, he pulled hard, exposing her slender throat. She felt his body tighten with climax at the same moment that sharp teeth pierced deep into her skin.

Again, her mouth opened in a silent scream as a wash of agony danced along her nerves from her neck to her feet and back to her head. It was followed by a perverse ecstasy as her blood ebbed out of her into his mouth. Her heart beat rapidly in the confusion of terror and pleasure rolled into one. The sucking sensation was so tender, she wondered at how bad it could be. The horror of the situation was lost on her. Everything was bliss.

Anne’s extremities began to numb first, but she didn’t notice, her fingertips, her toes and shortly her ankles and elbows. It was colder in the room despite the sweat on her skin and she was having difficulty breathing. Her heartbeat had slowed, struggling to throb with less and less to pump.

Darkness closed in on her peripheral vision and the only thing she could feel was Sasha’s hot lips drinking her in and a few trails of her own blood dripping along her shoulder onto the bedding. Consciousness was about to depart, her heart would follow it. A voice whispered in her head, speaking to her as if it were in her very thoughts.

You’ve met death.

It mocked her. Anne knew she hadn’t met death yet, but merely tasted its beginning.

“How will you embrace it? With vigor? Or complacency?”

Anne didn’t have the energy for much, but she managed to moan, trying to turn her head.

“What’s this?” the voice asked gently, just before soft lips placed a kiss on her ear lobe. “If you want it, then all you have to do is take it.”

Anne wanted it. She wanted it more than anything, but how was she going to take even the most necessary of things? Her body was dying, her cells failing along with everything that was her. It would all be gone in a few moments. In many ways, she was already dead.

“Come now, are you giving up?” the voice asked. “Like the others? Like your relatives? Surrendering to death? Your adversary you thought to meet on your own terms? I’ve brought you to him and now you can spit in his face. Or will you let him ravish you as I’ve done?”

The will in her heart drove her on for she had no other reserve of strength. In a moment of pure animal lust, she lifted her head and latched herself to a wound on his neck. Somehow, she instinctively knew it would be there and the way her lips circled it so tenderly, it was as if she had done it a thousand times, like a babe’s uncanny motion toward a nipple.

It came out in a rush, hot and fragrant and it burned her nose as if bile had backed up in her throat. The blood rushed along, filling her body with its heat. Every passing moment revitalized her senses, returning her lost strength. Muscles twitched, her body exploded once again into a pleasurable rush of convulsion. The very taste of gore felt as though it were sending her toward another climax.

Blood ran down her chin, dropping to her bare breast to make a lazy trail all the way to the hair on her abdomen. She swallowed as quickly as she could and Sasha held her tightly, cradling her as one might a child.

Anne had her fill long before Sasha was spent and, as he lowered her back down on the pillow, he rose and pulled on his pants.

“It won’t be a pleasant change, my love,” Sasha said while looking over his torn shirt. “But when you get through it, and you will, you’ll be happy again. The seed I’ve planted today will blossom and, when you wake from your sleep, it will be akin to rebirth. It’s a gift to you. The eternity of your creation now resides in your veins. You’re as timeless as a rose. It’s my gift to you.”

Sasha’s final words hung at the edge of her subconscious mind and, as she heard him leave, she wanted to cry out to him. Her body felt strong but was rapidly descending into a heavy sleep, one she feared she’d never wake from again, one that she knew was to be fatal. Had he killed her after all? Was her trust misplaced? Did she trade one death for another? When the last vestiges of light faded from her sight, she realized the truth.

No, she wasn’t dead, not in the conventional sense. Something was happening. Anne believed his words, it was a gift and it was timeless. It was exactly what she wanted, but more importantly, it was what she needed.

Anne figured it was far past time that death gave a little back for all it had taken. It owed her and she was happy to collect.